is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I supernannyed him into submission
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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