found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
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