My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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