so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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