if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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