okay pat passed out under dana's car
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize