Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
