Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
