god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.