Why are handjobs necessary in class?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.