in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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