I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
