You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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