Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I want to be your penis for a week.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
