It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
