Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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