Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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