so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
