..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
