I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize