hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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