Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
