im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She's the barista slut.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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