dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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