you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
