i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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