I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
