this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
