Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Dignity is for republicans.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
