I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
