I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize