I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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