so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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