Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
