Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
