I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
