You're so nebulous sometimes
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Hippo gnu deer
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
