Porn is love you can see.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
