what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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