what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
