What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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