how can u be prego again
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize