her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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