cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
