I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
