Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
