I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
