Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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