Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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