So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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