I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
