I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
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