I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize