i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
