Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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