So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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