I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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