Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
