I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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