To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
