That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
